Need to have your child’s car seat checked in Columbia, SC? It’s true what they say, “you can never be too safe”, especially when it comes to your children! And car seat safety is absolutely no exception!
I’ve been there, trying to make sense of the manuals, all the straps, struggling to get everything pulled tight…it’s stressful to say the least. If you’re expecting, or even if you’ve had a car seat installed in your car for years, we’ve got all the info you’ll need to have your seats double-checked by the experts and set your mind at ease.
Are you a single mom? Valentine’s Day takes on new meaning when you are a single mom at the holiday. If you are looking for ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your kids, Kidding Around contributor Andrea is telling readers how she has handled the love-filled holiday in this new season.
The Christmas season is supposed to be all about joy, peace, and a fleeting holiday spirit that seems to be gone quicker than a wispy trail of smoke once the dishes are done after Thanksgiving dinner. It’s all of a sudden a whirlwind of school holiday parties, making a list of gifts and going all out to fulfill that list, trying to create magic at home with an elf just because everyone else is seemingly doing it, taking a holiday overnight trip, and trying to see all the Christmas lights and displays because your family will be deprived if they don’t do that.
This is for all you parents who are hanging by a thread trying to make this season the most spectacular of all for your kids and just don’t know if you can hang on much longer. To all of you: you don’t need to do all the things.
Your Christmas tree doesn’t need a giant stack of presents under it. Your kids don’t need the latest toys. You don’t need to stretch yourself so thin trying to cram the most you can into this holiday season. You and your kids are not deprived if you don’t do it all, buy it all, and sacrifice your sanity for an experience, toy, or magical experience that will soon be forgotten.
You don’t need to do it all
Last year, parents estimated they would spend about $276 on Christmas gifts for each of their kids and a whopping 41% of Americans were willing to go into debt for gift-giving. Meanwhile, the estimated worth of unwanted gifts hovers around $15 billion. Those aren’t small figures, especially in today’s world where many families are struggling with everyday bills. Kids don’t need the latest toy, the most expensive phone, and all the other material things that they’ll forget in a month’s time. Smaller gifts or experience gifts, like memberships to places you and your family go often (hello, SC Parks Pass!) go a long way towards making great memories together all year long.
I’m not sure why we parents sometimes feel like we need to do all the things during the Christmas season. Maybe social media, maybe endless ads, maybe just talking with friends about all the cool stuff they are doing, or maybe it’s what our parents did with us that we are trying to replicate with our own kids. Whatever the reason, it’s totally fine – more than fine – to back off from the deluge of activities that come with this season.
You aren’t depriving your kids if you don’t do it all
Your kids will be okay if they aren’t doing everything their friends are doing and it’s a good opportunity for them to learn that not doing everything their friends are doing isn’t something to be ashamed about. We all have our own struggles and priorities and I think it’s good to learn early on that kids don’t need to fit in to have fun. I wish I would have learned that a lot earlier than I did in life.
I didn’t grow up doing a ton of activities during the Christmas season. Sometimes our family would take a trip together, which was a blast. We would go during Christmas and experience it in another state or town and have fun together exploring a new city and making dinner together in a small kitchen in our hotel room. It was awesome.
We didn’t do parades but we did go drive around looking at Christmas lights in neighborhoods with popcorn that we cooked over the stove and tried not to let explode all over the kitchen. We had fun decorating our Christmas tree together. One year my dad found a tree that legit looked like the poor little tree from Charlie Brown’s Christmas and it turned into the joke that never ended year after year since we couldn’t do worse than that tree.
I don’t remember the gifts I got or gave. I don’t remember sitting for Santa photos. The memories from the Christmas season that remain are those with my family. I do remember one gift: it was tickets to a New Jersey Nets (a professional basketball team) the day after Christmas or so. I had played basketball with a passion as a tween and teenager and that gift was special. That’s really all I remember in terms of gifts.
Choosing sanity
Because of those memories and because I have zero desire to drive myself crazy during these weeks leading up to Christmas, I intentionally try to minimize what we do. While I love writing about new activities for Christmas for Kidding Around, aside from those excursions, I try to take these weeks of Advent to spend quality time together with my kids. We go look at Christmas lights, go ice skating, go to live nativities and remember the real reason for this season, take time to volunteer, and read books together on Christmas. And, I intentionally try to not go overboard on gifts for my kids.
I want to get to Christmas and not be completely worn out or fed up or just plain unhappy. After all, this is indeed a season of joyful expectation. If you’ve got to seriously scale back your calendar to be happier and less stressed, then by all means, do it. You truly don’t need to do it all so your kids can experience the magic of the season. They will remember the special moments with you above all else and that’s what matters.
More Parenting
Free Car Seat Safety Check: Columbia, SC
The Not-So-Lonely Hearts Club {a single mom’s Valentine’s Day story}
Parents: You Don’t Need to do All the Christmas Things
The Christmas Season: How early is too early?
Have we been trick-or-treating wrong all these years?
5 Tips to Reduce the Pressure of Overscheduling Your Kids
The “how early is too early?” Christmas season debate is on. Decorations are going up all around the Upstate. Do you think November decorations are too ambitious? How about Christmas music? What album is Alexa playing on repeat at your house? Here’s Kidding Around Contributor, Taryn, with her take on the early start to the holiday season.
An Amble with Gamble: Stories from the parenting trenches
Is your family getting ready for the Halloween tradition of door-to-door trick-or-treating? As you prepare, here’s a humorous reflection of previous Halloweens and the trick-or-treat experience from KA Contributor, Taryn Gamble.
-Come take a stroll down memory lane with me-
Another Halloween come and gone.
I definitely would not put myself in the Halloween enthusiast category. I mean, I like dressing up my kids and eating 3 Musketeers as much as any human being should but hanging skeletons from my front porch and pretending to be an axe- murderer is just not my idea of a good time. To each his own, though.
I managed to avoid Halloween festivities for the last six years, but this year, the kids were adamant that they wanted to pick out costumes and join in the neighborhood excitement.
Fine.
My children looking despondent pre-trick-or-treating. Don’t let their expressions fool you. They were wildly excited.
But why do kids always choose the costume that suddenly doesn’t come in their size? My 8 year-old wanted to be Ironman which, to daft little me, seemed fairly mainstream. How hard could it be?
I could find every other superhero costume known to the galaxy in a size medium, but not Ironman. No.
One Halloween Express and two Walmarts later, we finally tracked down a size medium Ironman costume. The Lord was testing me. I don’t know if you’ve ever traversed a Halloween Express and two Walmarts in one afternoon with four children under 8 years old, but let me assure you, it’s above your paygrade.
My 3-year-old girl had her own hopes and dreams of being Spidergwen for Halloween. For the record, I was thrilled by her decision. The character of Spidergwen is pretty boss if you ask me, so my daughter’s spunky, ballet-dancing self would have been the perfect Gwen Stacy!
Alas. Let me tell you what I found: the only companies manufacturing toddler-size Spider Gwen costumes also seem like the type of factories heavy into human trafficking and slavery. I’m not even joking around here. The locations were highly suspect.
While I now realize that probably any costume I purchased from the big box store came from one of those locations, I couldn’t, in good conscience, order directly from the operation. There went my poor girl’s aspirations.
Don’t fret, though. She settled on an Elsa costume two sizes too small for her at Walmart—as one does—and could not have been more excited on Halloween night with her arms wedged into tiny glitter mesh tubes up to her elbows. Kind of reminded me of a burst can of biscuits, but in the cutest way possible.
While the five of us were out enjoying the cool night and gusty winds, we had the unique experience of being offered chili at two locations.
Chili. Like the soup with beans.
Now, I love chili—heavy on the sour cream, please—and it is certainly weather-appropriate this time of year, but how on earth am I supposed to consume a bowl of chili while keeping my children out of the street? This was all new to me. Do you just ladle it into the bucket? What’s the protocol here? Seemed unconventional, at best.
So what did I do? I took the ding-dang chili, of course!
And wolfed down three to four bites on each porch. Trust me on this one. WORTH THE CHALLENGE. While the threat of being poisoned by strychnine was certainly there, I took that risk because chili should never be declined.
Many a dad was nursing their own bowl of chili, so I was in good company—just missing a full beard and camo jacket. That Piedmont Life, I tell you. Several mothers looked at me like I was an imposter, but I suppose that comes with the territory when you’re clearly enjoying yourself with four happy, costumed kids in tow. We are a rare breed.
At any rate, the real case on the chili front is that I was so full when we arrived home that I didn’t eat a single piece of Halloween candy! Could this be because I had to give baths and put four kids on speed to bed? Highly probable. Could it also be that I hid the Halloween buckets in an inconvenient place upon our arrival home? Likely answers all around!
But I’m putting all my coins into the chili bucket–the unsung hero of Halloween in South Carolina. Friends, whip out those crockpots and styrofoam cups and be the toast of the town.
Chili 2022 for Office. Don’t even bother with cilantro. No one wants that when there are Reese’s Cups to be had.
If you find yourself running ragged all week with zero time for family dinners and feel more like an Uber driver than a parent, maybe overscheduling is the problem. We asked our readers about this topic and for some possible solutions.
I have no middle ground on overscheduling my kids for activities. It’s basically all or nothing with some classes or organized events thrown in. Why? For two reasons: firstly, I played competitive sports from age 12 through high school and still regret that my poor siblings were dragged all over the place to watch me play sports and that it cut into better things my family could be doing together. Secondly, that having very few evenings and weekends free to do what I want with my kids sends my anxiety through the roof.
When we asked our readers if overscheduling your kids is possible, the majority answered with a resounding yes. Scrolling through social media only reinforces this as parents are asking where their two-year-old can play organized sports or dance classes for their 18-month-old. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to ask these questions but experts tell us that overscheduling kids at any age can lead to very little free time and opportunities for relaxation and creativity. It can also lead to burnout – for both kids and parents, which isn’t fun for anyone.
Overscheduled & Overstimulated
The author of a book called Kids Under Pressure, Karen Sullivan, expands on this topic: “Parents put children under enormous pressure with heavily orchestrated schedules of extra activities, all of which are designed to help them succeed in life. However, this leaves little free time for children to be children and to relax. Children are often left feeling they are not good enough because they are not ‘the best’.”
She goes on to say that because of the time suck of these “heavily orchestrated schedules” there is no more room left for fun. And that causes stress. She’s just talking about the kids and not the stress this places on parents.
One of our readers shared that “Many parents are so obsessed to do allll the things society tells them they should. Sometimes less is more. These kids are overscheduled and over-stimulated.”
The Comparison Trap
It’s so, so easy to compare yourself and your kids to other people with the prevalence of social media. I see friends post about all the cool activities their kids are involved in and I will freely admit that I have moments where I wish that was one of my daughters involved in those activities. But I quickly get back to reality and know that I’d lose my mind if that was my life.
Another reader of ours put it this way: “Remind yourself that kids need to be kids. If you find yourself feeling like an Uber driver. Or like your family are like ships passing in the night, and they don’t have time to just be kids (ie play in the neighborhood, use their creativity and imaginations, and learn what boredom is and in turn how to entertain themselves), probably too much…. But you have to feel like you’re comfortable with what they are scheduled for. Not what other people are doing with their kids but what is right for your family. We were not created to be in constant go mode. Not as kids and not as adults.”
If you feel yourself falling into that comparison trap, think about how you would feel if that were your kids and your crazy schedule and your budget. It may not work for your family or your own personality and that’s totally ok. It’s fine not to schedule your kids for every class or activity.
Every family is different
When my daughters did gymnastics, I made sure their class was at the same time on the same night to minimize our weekly disruptions. We ended those classes when covid hit and while I’d like to enroll them again, I need the same kind of schedule where they both can do classes at the same time. My oldest daughter did Cub Scouts for a few years, which was perfect because it was one meeting a week that I could take both my kids to and the activities fit well into our hiking and outdoor-loving schedule. I did say no to swim team a few years ago when I found out the swim meets were on Saturday mornings. As a working mom who plans the best adventures on weekends, I was not about to give that time up for sitting at a pool during the prime summer months. But that’s me – if you’re the swim team cheering, soccer mom yelling kind of parent, that’s awesome.
But for myself, I really think I’d lose my mind if I had to work all day, homeschool, and then shuttle both my kids to places all week and on weekends. No way. My time with them is too short and too precious. And it’s not like we don’t do anything. We travel often for my work with Kidding Around and have incredible adventures together, go paddleboarding all summer, camp, hike, and have that quality, uninterrupted time with each other that helps to enrich our relationships.
One other thing I would not be able to handle are dinner times and cooking if my kids needed to shuttled all over the place during the week. I know that healthy eating and homecooked meals would fall by the wayside, which not only means unhealthy food for our family but also more money spent on fast food – and that would put even more stress on our family. Yes, I could plan ahead but with working full-time and homeschooling, it wouldn’t work well for us. But that’s my own family and everyone is different and probably more organized than myself!
Playing & creativity also provide benefits
While sports and creative arts certainly provide multiple benefits to children like physical fitness, muscle coordination, boosting of self-esteem, the ability to focus and problem solve, the benefits of play are also numerous. The Genius of Play points out that play also provides:
Creativity
Social skill development
Cognitive development
Physical development (i.e., balance, coordination)
Communication skills
Emotional development
Play also provides an outlet for stress. Think about it as an adult. We need that downtime from our work to rest and relieve stress. For myself, that’s anything outdoors. Send me on a seven-mile hike up Table Rock and I’m good to go for the week. Kids need that same kind of stress relief and if they are always running from one activity to the next, they aren’t getting it.
So what are the solutions to overscheduling?
My own personal solution is to skip pretty much everything that requires my kids to be in multiple places during the week. But that’s me and while it works for us, other parents likely think this is a little crazy or that their kids absolutely need to be involved in some kind of activity. So back to our readers, who have more solutions than I do.
1 – Each kid gets one sport at a time
This was a common response when asked how to solve the problem of overscheduling.
One mom said, “My kids get 1 extra curricular activity each, that’s it. It’s important to spend time as a family and learn how to entertain yourself.”
2 – Each kid gets one sport at a time and the practices must be limited
Another mom took it a step further and limited practices that the sport required:
“My kids are allowed to have one sport going at a time And it can’t be anything that’s going to require More than two practices a week during the school year.”
3 – Stay out of competitive sports.
Competitive sports often require multiple practices a week plus games on weekends, including traveling to surrounding states several times a year. One mom says no to that: “We have 4 kids and DON’T do competitive sports for this exact reason. Takes away family time and money.”
4 – Choose a couple of lower key activities and stick to those.
One mom, who I totally identify with, says she’s an introvert so it’s a little harder on her to stick with a taxing schedule so she does more low-key activities with her kids: “We are introverts and I have health issues so we keep it low key on activities with lots of socializing. We do library day once a week or every other week and get together with others once a month or so. Plus, we have Sunday morning & Wednesday evening church. Smaller activities we might do more often, bigger activities less often as they are very taxing on me.
5 – Take a day off.
If you find yourself overscheduled, don’t be afraid to take a day off now and again. You really can just not go to dance class this week, or skip that practice and go hiking with the family instead.
Do you have any other suggestions for parents who feel like they have overscheduled their kids?
More Parenting Tips and Ideas
Free Car Seat Safety Check: Columbia, SC
The Not-So-Lonely Hearts Club {a single mom’s Valentine’s Day story}
Parents: You Don’t Need to do All the Christmas Things
Want to make sure your family trip to the farm is amazing? Farms in the fall are perfect places for family fun and lots of memory-making. But, bringing your whole crew anywhere can sometimes be a little stressful, right? So, we have some tips to help you make your fall farm trip easy with nothing but fun and happy faces.
Famoda Farm
Wear the correct clothes.
A farm is a great opportunity to take some adorable, matching farm-themed photos, but it’s important to realize that it is a farm. Farms have dirt, fire ants, and typically a lot of sun. Cute smocked outfits, warm “fall” clothes, and open-toed shoes might look great in photos but may not be comfortable, practical attire for having fun at the farm.
If your main goal is photos, consider either outfit choices that are comfortable and can get dirty or take your photos and schedule another visit for full farm activities.
We recommend wearing:
Clothes that can get dirty
Closed-toed shoes that are comfortable for walking such as tennis shoes or boots
Layers, even on cooler fall days it can feel really hot in the sun especially if you spend an hour wandering in a corn maze.
A hat or sunglasses if it’s a sunny day
Moo Cow Farms
Bring snacks and water.
Most farms will allow you to eat on the property or at your car. Some serve food, but not all. Most do not have a place to refill water bottles.
We recommend making sure you have plenty of food and water.
There will likely only be porta-potties at the farm so plan accordingly.
Wear your sunscreen. It can get hot in October in our region.
Apple slingshot at McLadke Orchards
Go over farm etiquette before getting out of the car.
It’s important to go over basic farm rules with your kids if they are unfamiliar with farm etiquette. Farming is hard work and it’s important to respect the farmer’s property.
Follow all farm signs and rules.
Be sure to treat plants with respect. Only pick what you plan to pay for and don’t destroy farm property such as forming new paths in a corn maze.
Don’t throw produce such as pumpkins or corn unless it’s part of a farm-approved game.
Watch your kids closely. Farm equipment can be dangerous.
Don’t feed animals unless signs give permission to feed them and only feed animals food that is approved by the farm.
If you have the opportunity to touch or hold animals, remind your children to be gentle.
Goat Daddy’s Farm
Be prepared before you get lost in the corn maze.
Corn mazes are fun but they also are in direct sunlight and involve a lot of wandering around trying to figure your way out.
Your kids will likely insist on picking all of the turns which often results in walking in circles for hours.
Make sure your preschooler/toddler understands that they have to stay with you because losing a child in a corn maze is more excitement than most of us want when visiting a farm.
Take a photo of the corn maze before you enter. That way if you get lost and tired, you can still find your way out.
If your kids are little, they usually won’t know the difference between the entrance and exit so you can always have a short visit into the corn maze and just exit out the way you came before everyone gets tired.
Denver Downs
Pick the right farm.
If you want to pick apples or pumpkins, make sure the farm lets you pick them before arriving. Some orchards and farms only sell pre-picked produce.
Some farms allow you to enjoy all the activities for one price, whereas others charge per activity. If your main event is picking apples, paying once for the jumping pillow or hay ride might be the right choice. If your main activity is playing at the farm, consider one with an all-inclusive price.
Denver Downs
Check to see what forms of payment they accept.
Some of the farms in the region only accept cash or check. Make sure you are prepared.
Farm Fun Near Upstate, SC
20+ Adorable Farms & Petting Zoos: Pet & Play With Animals
You Can Feed and Hold Baby Animals at Two Girls and a Farm: Lexington, SC
Little Creek Farm is a Hidden Gem for Families: Lexington, SC
How do you get kids to talk to their parents? How do you spark meaningful conversations with kids? You love your kids and you want to hear about their day and what’s happening in their lives. But, how do you encourage your kids to talk to you? Try these tips from parents just like you for encouraging kids to communicate and talk to you.
We have all been there (well, at least most of us). It’s the first day of school or our kid goes to camp, and we can’t wait to hear all about it. Then our kid comes home and only provides information in one-syllable answers … “fine.” Or maybe, our kid talks or at least used to, but our life has gotten so busy that we realize we haven’t had a deep conversation with them in days or even weeks.
Talking with our kids is important. In fact, the Palmetto Basics includes talking to your kids as one of the most basic ways to help your child’s brain grow. We also know that talking with our kids and as a family can continue to strengthen relationships and our children’s personal growth as they grow older.
What are some tips then for getting our kids to talk or better to talk to them in a way that invites conversation? We polled our readers to hear what they do to foster family conversations and these are their tips.
Are you trying to make time to spend one-on-one with your kids and need some ways to make it special? Kidding Around Contributor and mom of two girls, Kristina, has some ideas to help you create one-on-one time for your kids and make some memories.
I think most parents can agree that time flies when their kids are growing up. Maybe not in those first months (or years) when sleep is non-existent and the constant routine of sleep-eat-poop is all kids do but certainly once parents regain consciousness and babies start not being babies anymore, they can tell time is flying. How do you really make the most of the years you have with your kids? I think about this a lot, for reasons I’ll tell you about shortly, and have found a few things that have strengthened my relationship with my children.
Make back-to-school time easy this year! Our readers are really smart, which is why we asked them about their very best back-to-school hacks.
Getting back into the swing of things for a new school year is no joke. It is hard. The early mornings, the bus schedule, the lunch packing, the homework, the extracurricular sports, the chalkboard first day or school photos. It can be overwhelming, which is why we turned to the most knowledgeable group of people we know to ask for tips: our readers. Here’s what they said.
